Paris: The City of Light (and dog doo, too)

It's been nearly a month since we've gotten to Paris. It's hard to believe that we'll be wrapping up our time here in just two short days. I'm amazed at how easy it is to settle into a routine once established (and that just makes me feel so pensive about the blessings and dangers of routines...but I'm not here to be pensive. I'm here to tell you about Paris...)

So Paris. It is a land of dichotomies. It is simultaneously beautiful and disgusting. Amazing food and really odd dining choices. Incredibly stylish and yet I've thought countless times, 'why would anyone ever pay 300 euros for that pair of shoes?' The city itself is full of dog poop. People do not clean up after their four-legged friends. I don't understand why, but that's just how it goes. So you really, REALLY have to watch where you step. And everyone smokes. I mean, EVERYONE. I think 87% of the population smokes and another 9% vapes. The first week here was awful in that respect. I couldn't stand being outside because of the smoking (and unfortunately it drifts into the windows of the apartment too). Oddly enough though, you do get used to it (which is scary). And people have an increasingly cavalier attitude towards littering. Josh was talking to a woman who literally threw paper on the ground while talking to him. He looked at her and she said, "oh don't worry, there's people who clean that up!" And that's the attitude pretty much everyone seems to adopt. Someone finishes a beer and sets the can on the side of a building instead of throwing it away. The sidewalk is rife with discarded bus tickets. It's absurd. On the plus side, the trash workers and street cleaners work like crazy people to keep the city clean and they do a fantastic job.

The architecture of Paris is truly exquisite. Paris is one of the few cities (maybe only city) that really looks the way it's portrayed in film. From the cafés to the lush green parks to the berets, real-life Paris is so inline with movie-Paris. I've never seen a city with so much filigree. The buildings themselves are all a rich cream color with wrought iron black balconies that are classically ornamental and filigreed. And all of the buildings look like that. There are no sky scrapers or steel towers (except much further out of the city center. It is terribly beautiful. As are the people.

This is where I get off for my bus stop everyday for CrossFit. It's the Òpera Academie building. With actual gold statues on the top.

All the buildings look like this. Scroll-y, script-y balconies and little red window boxes. Also worthy of noting, the street sign on the bottom of this building says Rue de Nicolas Flamel (just when I thought my Potter Pilgrimage was over!!)

Not a building, but another example of fine French architecture. This is the Arc de Triomphe. It is in the middle of the largest traffic circle I've ever seen. I am SO GLAD I didn't try to drive in this country. They may drive on the same side we do but it is utter anarchy.

Okay, seriously. Look at the pink shoes in the middle of the picture on the left side. Click to enlarge the picture if you can. Or don't. Because these things look like they're made out of McD's infamous pink slime...

Ah yes, so the people. You know how in America, we complain about the models on TV (the women, anyway) and how they aren't real women and clothes are made for them and blah blah blah? Well, let me tell you, those women are real. They do exist. They live in Paris. Have you seen that clip of Amy Schumer where she talks about how her arms register as legs in Los Angeles? (If you haven't, it is seriously the most hilarious thing ever. Take a minute and watch it here). That's absolutely been my experience here in Paris. Parisian women are tiny. Je suis le curvy. I have never ever gotten stared at so much in my life. Some stares are appraising and some are disapproving. Apparently, people don't wear leggings in this city unless they're working out. But again, their legs look very different than my legs in said leggings. Thanks to my genes and CrossFit, I have really big quads and no one looked twice at me in the U.S. for wearing leggings. That's what three-quarters of women wear in America. Here, the fashion is very trendy: mostly black and a fair amount of leather.  It's all about the scarves, heels, accessories. Women, young (even the tiny tots) and old have a version of a short leather jacket that zips up the front diagonally. Women wear heels even though they have to hoof it on foot on cobblestone everywhere. Everyone wears mostly black and blazers are a big thing. The men are incredibly well-dressed too. Suits and ties, sports coats and expensive looking pointy shoes. The men are all skinny too! Even the ones at CrossFit are small and lean. No broad-shouldered linebacker types here. The only thing I can assume is that their diet consists of one baguette a day (no joke, people walk around with a baguette in hand, chewing away as they walk down the street or wait for the bus) the Nicotine addiction curbs their appetites and they drink tiny cups of Espresso like it's going out of style. I don't understand how they still look good! Maybe it's the antioxidants in the wine??

But looks aside, people are friendly enough. It seems to be the French way to not really get to know you if you won't be around for a long time. They are interested in making relationships not acquaintances (which made CF a little lonely).  Not a lot of people speak much English. But enough people do or we've learned enough phrases to get by. Thanks to CrossFit, I can now count as high as twenty and say "go!" in French.

Do you remember Razor scooters? They were a big thing like ten or so years ago. Every kid ever was getting them for Christmas for a few years running (actually, so was my mom...). Those are huge here. That's how people get around. There are entire stores devoted to the retail of the scooters. It wasn't unusual to see women in high heels riding around on them. Kids and adults alike scooted around the city. It was super practical and I was a little jealous a few times.

One of the things I was most excited about in coming to Paris was the food. I have a horrible sweet tooth and I used to be a baker so I got really excited to try the things that I learned about in pastry school, but the "real" version. And the real versions are so incredibly delightful. The macaróns and pain aux chocolat and plain old chocolate...oh my gosh. You know that stupid face that Guy Fieri makes anytime he puts anything in his mouth? That foodgasm face? That's pretty much me anytime I get a baked good in my hand in Paris. It's heaven. (I really hope there are pastries in heaven...)

A traditional French Crèpe made with Grand Marnier and sugar

One of the 242 chocolate shops I pass on my walk home from CrossFit

The French version of Sour Patch kids. I think it's hilarious. Also the flavors and textures are waaaaay better. The flavors include frambois (raspberry) and cassis (black currant) along with whatever the orange, yellow and green are.

I didn't get to try any of these. But aren't they pretty?

I tried all of these

Oh, the pastries...

A bona fide French pistache soufflé. 

Why yes, yes that is a grand piano made out of chocolate. 

My favorite. Like I said, I ate way too many of these. But aren't they exquisite? 

I'd like to say this is what shame looks like. But I don't look nearly repentant  enough. Double fisting the desserts.

A French Grilled Cheese sandwich from Cheeser's, The World's Best Food Truck

That's what the yellow circle says:The World's Best Food Truck 2015

Josh was excited about a different aspect of food in France. He bought a cookbook pretty much right when we got here and went through one night, marking things he'd like to make--things that you don't really ever see in the U.S. The ingredients are things that wouldn't be easy to come by back home but here are as common as chicken breast is in the U.S. Food works a little differently here. Breakfast isn't eggs and bacon. It's a croissant and coffee (if they eat anything at all). Lunch is served at cafés as is some sort of afternoon "meal" (which I think consists of espresso or a cocktail). Restaurants don't open until 7:30pm at the earliest for dinner. It was kind of hard to adjust to. We don't typically eat quite that late and eat eggs every morning. Thankfully, we're both decent cooks and our apartment has a fully-functional kitchen. Anyway, Josh bought this book and had an adventure cooking all sorts of things: quail, duck, rabbit...I wish I had a picture of the duck confit he made. It was really tasty. I didn't expect to like duck. The only time I've had it back home, it was very dark and greasy. I don't know what's different about French ducks, but they're nommy! We did get dressed up and go out to a nice French restaurant once. It was beautiful and the service was exquisite. We tried caviar, which turned out to be really good. We also tried the French Squab. It was awful. We looked up what it is when we got back to the apartment and I was in tears. It's pigeon. Unfledged pigeons :(

One of Josh's creations: they look like tiny burgers but they're actually apricots stuffed with blood sausage and baked. The baked apricots were delicious. I didn't touch the sausage...

My one contribution was french toast I made with a true Brioche. Maple syrup doesn't exist here but we did have sugar cubes, cream and butter so I made a salted caramel sauce to go with. We even tried it with crème fraîche.

He even flambées! 

Rabbit with a mustard and cream sauce

Quail with grapes. And sweet potatoes fried in duck fat and seasoned with yellow curry and fleur de sel. We ate those with guacamole. So stupid good.

Despite what the pictures look like, we didn't spend all of our time eating. I spent a fair amount of time learning how buses and public transportation work thanks to CrossFit. I went to CrossFit Louvre while I was here which is a little over two miles away from our flat. That seemed like way too far away to walk so the first day here, I looked up online what bus to take (#74) to get there and went to wait for the bus. I'm waiting and waiting and my bus doesn't come. I watch multiple bus 74's go across the street that's parallel to me but don't stop anywhere near me. Only bus 66 and 31 come to my stop. I'm very nearly going to be late and I'm in tears and calling Josh and I can't speak French and oh it's a hot mess...I have to call the gym and tell them I can't make it because I can't figure out how to get there. They're super nice and let me come to a later class and Josh helps me find another bus route that gets me close but I have to walk a little further to actually get to the gym. Fine. I actually catch the bus this time and get off and walk in completely the wrong direction. Thank God for cell phones and Google Maps...I finally make it there and it's a partner WOD. And my partner doesn't speak English.  Fortunately a lot of body movements don't require spoken language and we muddle through. Afterwards, I walk back to what says it's the correct bus stop, but the bus drives right past me without stopping! So I end up walking home. The next day I try again and it drives past me again! It turns out there's a sign (in French) saying the stop is out of commission. So the next day I try and different bus route that takes two buses and I figure that it makes sense to just ride them backwards (that's how you get home if you drive in a car, right?!) Nope. Not how it works. I end up who know's where, walking home again. So, I gave up. Four weeks later, and I really enjoy my walk home. Although it's worth noting that I did find a way to get a bus home should I need to.

The "parking lot" is full of scooters and cycles!

CrossFit Louvre is in the basement of a Reebok store. 

We also went to the actual Louvre (not just CF Louvre), home of The Mona Lisa. I was expecting too much because people always describe The Mona Lisa as unimpressive and small. But I think it might have been my favorite piece that we saw. You know you've arrived at it when all you can see is a monstrous crowd of people hovering in one spot. It is housed in a glass case and there is a wooden bar that keeps you about ten feet away from the painting itself as well as a rope behind that where the crowd congregates. There's always one person there (whether for crowd control or guarding it or what) and he saw Josh and told us we could get closer to it, so we were allowed between the wooden bar and the rope which was really neat (sometimes there really are perks to Josh being in a chair). Her eyes really do follow you. It's like the Jesus painting that my Aunt Faye used to have sitting on top of her television twenty years ago. His eyes followed you anywhere you went in the room. Used to freak me out.

We got to the Pyramid entrance and immediately I wanted to watch the DaVinci Code

Here she is, in all her passive glory.

The art of the Louvre isn't just painting placed on the wall. Parts of the building are actually artwork themselves, as you can see by the ceiling here.

Hallways after hallways followed by rooms and floors and buildings of art.

I have never seen such an extensive museum. We could have gone every single day of the month we were here and still not have seen everything.

I'm certainly not an art aficionado, but some of the art was just plain weird. All of the babies painted by Italian Renaissance painters were creepy as all get out.  They put too much understanding and awareness into the eyes of the babies. Look at the eyes. So eerie.  

This looks like it came straight out of the Disney version of Hercules.
 

So big.

The inverted pyramid in the basement of the Louvre (which is also a mall)

The Louvre also houses extensive gardens in the courtyard.

We went on May 5 which is a national holiday in France so people were lounging, sunbathing, picnic-ing and playing all across the laws outside of the Louvre. You can see the Eiffel Tower in the left and a giant Ferris wheel to the right. 

The Ferris Wheel and a random obelisk.

The Champs Élysées all decorated for May 5 celebrations.

Selfie along the Seine

We also went to an Urban Art Fair, the Foire de Paris (a combination of Farm show, Home show and food truck festival) and interestingly enough, a wheelchair rugby match. The US team as well as five other teams were here in France competing for one of the two spots in the Paralympics in Brazil this summer. We saw the tail end of the game that clinched the US's first place spot in the tournament and a place in the Paralympics. Then we watch France vs. New Zealand which was a nail-biter. The point spread was never more than two to four point for most of the game. France won which gave them the second spot in Brazil. The French are a rowdy and spirited bunch at sporting events. They brought pots and pans from their kitchens to beat on with wooden spoons. There was a group of drummers, party blowers, screaming children and adults and organized cheers. Craziness.

France's Wheelchair Rugby Team after winning their final game against New Zealand

 

A huge articulated ant from The Foire de Paris. It has four seats for people to sit in an move each of the ant's body parts.

Virtual reality sky diving experience at the Foire. 

The Foire had a Tesla coil. It played all sorts of music from Star Wars to Pirates of the Caribbean. It was really neat but so incredibly loud.

Functioning robots at the Foire

This machine is supposed to help you lose weight. How, you ask? You stand on it and it shakes you around. It's basically a Shake Weight.

Josh and I decided to go to a Cabaret and in full-tourist fashion, settled on Moulin Rouge. We certainly didn't have clothes to wear so we went shopping for suitable outfits that wouldn't break the bank. We got all dressed up and had a lot of fun. It was unexpected, dazzling and funny. The cabaret is partly what you'd expect, dancers in fabulous costumes but the in-between acts were surprising: magicians, puppeteers, gymnasts. A veritable variety show.

All dressed up. Look at Josh's Parisian style! And my heels!

In the lobby. No pictures allowed once you get into the main area.

All lit up at night!

Three days before we're supposed to leave and we still hadn't seen the Eiffel Tower. We'd seen it from bus windows and from far away. From a bit of a distance, it really isn't very pretty. It kind of looks like a radio tower or a phone line tower. So we didn't bust our butts to get to the monument before. But we did want to see it and go up the tower and we're both glad we did. It gave us a chance to see the city from up high (although we both agree that it is way prettier from down in the streets). And the Tower itself is pretty neat from up close. Much better than just seeing it from far away.

The Tour Eiffel

The city from above

As high as we were allowed to go. Apparently if you're in a wheelchair, you can't go all the way to the top in case of emergency. We had to use an elevator to get as high as we did and in the event of an emergency, we'd still need the elevator to get down so I really don't get it but that's the rules, silly as they are.

A neat view of the city from up high

I was trying to selfie in the Eiffel Tower. Obviously I failed but I really like this picture anyway. Makes me smile :)

Some of the Love Locks! Legend has it that if a couple puts a lock on the bridge and throws the key into the Seine, they'll be together forever.

Got it in this time! Success!

I shouldn't have waited to blog until after the month was up. It made for a stupidly long post and I've forgotten so much I wanted to tell you (even with the really longs post). We were absolutely delighted with Paris. I'm going to miss it. I don't doubt that we'll be back again some day. But for now, we're packing our bags, mailing a few things home and heading off to the top of my bucket list--Ireland!